When they first spoke about the idea of registering to become foster carers, several people in their social circle cautioned Laura Kerr and Joe Najduch against the idea.
“What are you doing going into fostering? You should wait and have your own children first,” was the gist of the advice, Laura says, but the young couple were not deterred and now describe it as “one of the best things we’ve ever done”.
They were first introduced to their most regular placement, Sebastian, a teenager living with longer‑term foster carers just a short hop up the steep hill from their home in Wormadale, during one of the Covid‑19 lockdowns in 2020.
Laura and Joe both feel that the introductory process played a key part in smoothing the path towards a healthy relationship. They put together a booklet with photos of themselves and their house, along with information about their lifestyle and interests, prior to an introductory meeting.
“When we went into fostering we were really nervous and worried about what it was going to entail,” Laura says.
“For our very first placement we met Sebastian in the garden and we’d given him a book so he could see exactly what our life is like, what our home is like, and how he could fit into that.
“Because he’d seen it he was ready with questions, and ready to make comments. We had mentioned that we like to do a lot of gardening, and straight away he said ‘I’m not going to be helping in the garden, just so you know!’ That really broke the ice, and it was really funny seeing his confidence straight away.”
For their second meet‑up they enjoyed a garden picnic on a sunny summer’s day, and Joe soon started up a game of badminton with Sebastian.
The couple swiftly formed a warm and friendly bond with him:
“We’ve built up this really strong relationship with Sebastian,” he smiles, “and we’ve never looked back.”
Laura says playing a small part in helping Sebastian develop “has been really rewarding. We’ve been proud of watching him grow and learn so many skills and develop into the young man he is now”.
“Sebastian doesn’t really see us as foster carers,” she explains. “He sees us more as an auntie and uncle, and he’s really keen to go on adventures with us and just come here to see us and have a catch‑up, which has been lovely.
“It’s nice that he feels comfortable to do that, because when you hear the word ‘placement’ it sounds forced, it sounds compulsory, but a lot of times he has chosen to come here, and we’re really glad of the relationship we’ve now got with him.”
The couple moved to the islands from the Scottish mainland almost eight years ago. Laura teaches craft and design at Aith Junior High School, while Joe is a project manager with the council’s future energy team.
After going through the process to become foster carers, they were able to “get to know our social workers very well”, says Joe, and he praises the level of support and flexibility offered by the family placement team.
One key piece of advice is to “always know when to say ‘no’” to placements if it is not possible to fit them around your own availability, or if you feel at risk of “being pushed past your limits and capabilities”.
“There is a lot of flexibility and it can suit your lifestyle depending on whether you’re busy with work or different commitments,” Joe points out.
“The team were really helpful in preparing us for the placement, and we got given all the information and background in advance, and we’d have multiple meetings before a placement started. We were really well looked after.”
Laura says the training they received has been “really helpful”, and she has been able to put many of the skills learned to use professionally too.
“There’s lots of benefits to it – meeting new people, getting involved in things you might never have been involved in,” she says.
“Once we went with Sebastian to watch his dad in a play in the Gulberwick Hall, and it was a really unusual play. It was a brilliant event, really good fun, but I thought I probably would never have gone unless he had asked us to.
“He always keeps us up to date with teenage chats, what’s going on in their world, and that’s always helpful as a teacher because sometimes I don’t know the slang they use!”
Laura adds: “If there were ever any worries, they were on the other end of the phone and replied to emails very quickly. We had a strong relationship with Sebastian’s main foster parents, and social work were organising events. We felt very welcome and very valued by them, which was really key for us.”
Does she have any final message for would‑be carers? “The amount of placements you take on is completely up to you, but the end game for everyone is so wonderful. It’s really hard to describe, and you can only really feel it once you’ve been involved in some way, and remind yourself why you’re doing it: it can change young people’s lives.”
If you'd like to find out more about becoming a Foster Carer in Shetland, sign up to receive email updates from the Family Placement team or visit our fostering campaign page for more information
